Monday, 28 November 2016

My weight loss struggles

Hello Everyone!

I have been on my weight loss journey for around 8 weeks now and have lost 16 lbs all together which I think it incredible!

When I first started this I had talked to a few people who have gone through a similar experience, and they made it seem as if weight loss was the easiest thing in the world - however none of them were overweight when they wanted to lose a couple of pounds. They made out as though weight loss was a breeze and that a couple of lbs was piss easy to lose, I dove into this believing that I could be the same, some sit ups here and a salad there and I would be healthy and bikini body ready in no time.

Oh how I was so very wrong...

The thing I remembered after a while was that I started this OVERWEIGHT - not like some of my friends who were already slim at the time, I had more than a couple of pounds to lose.
I have run into so many obstacles, mainly mentally and I am still tying to battle my way through them! So without rambling on any more here are the 5 things that I have been struggling with during my weight loss.

1. Fitspo/Thinspo 

Many times I have been told that looking at Fitspo and Thinspo on Tumblr and instagram would help motivate me to keep up with my exercise and diet - it did the exact opposite!!
Looking at all these posts of the fit girls with the flat stomachs and the plump bootay made me feel worthless, in fact it caused me to start pinching my fat and making lists on everything I hated about my body.
The end result of me looking at these supposedly inspirational posts? Binge eating - yup! I won't deny that these types of inspo may help some people lose weight but for me it made me feel terrible about my self. I manged to conquer this by switching out these images for before and after ones and they worked so well for me! Looking at the progress people have made makes it seem more achievable for me than looking at people who are ALWAYS have been fit and thin.

2. Having full control over food shopping

Right now I currently live 4 hours away from my family at Bangor University and this means I ultimately have full control over my food shopping because no one else is going to be eating these foods except me!
This has also been a struggle and one that I am still learning to deal with, obviously shopping on an empty stomach isn't exactly the best thing in the world - I would find myself picking up snacks and junk food (Vegan of course but it doesn't make it healthy!!!) Picking, choosing and planning meals for the day is something I am still struggling with.
I have next to no idea what kinds of food I should be eating during the day and also no idea how much of it I am eating too - A way in which I hope to gain a bit more control over how much I eat instead of just control over what I can eat is to buy a food diary and document my daily meals and snacks. I know this way I can physically see what I am eating and can start prepping and planning my meals in advance!

3. Late night cravings

One of the main reasons I piled on the weight so quick is because of one simple reason - Binge eating and snacking late at night.
Low self esteem and being ashamed of eating certain foods in front of people would push me to binge eating late at night once everyone had gone to bed, meaning I had full access to cupboards and the fridge. Now since being in uni this has stopped slightly, however sometimes at around 9pm I get the urge for something savoury and it's normally crisps that I crave. Which has led to me a couple of times nipping to the shop for one bag and coming back with five different things and eating it all in one night. This isn't healthy but it is something I am working on - I have taken to buying 20 calorie brown rice cakes that taste of salt and vinegar crisps and whenever I feel a craving I will just eat one of these slowly and normally the cravings subside - if anyone else has any tips on how to stop the snacking then please let me know in the comments because this is an issue I would just like to see gone!

4. Guilt

Kind of ties in with the cravings struggle guilt is something that never really goes away and I think it will be a long time before it does. Now i'm not talking about pigging out all day kind of guilt. i'm talking about me feeling immensely guilty for having a few sips of pop or eating 1 bag of crisps throughout the day etc. I know people can feel guilty sometimes but feeling guilty every day for something teeny has been a huge struggle. Again any advice is appreciated. I feel like I am too hard on myself, that because I have told people I am actually going to drop the weight this time that I have something major to prove to everyone - like one slip up could mean the end of the world and all my progress from the last 8 weeks is lost. Which is ridiculous, you're not going to put 16 lbs back on from one can of diet coke! I feel so much pressure to lose a lot of weight in a very short amount of time and body dis-morphia can definitely be a cause of this when you feel like no matter how much weight you're losing you look the same! Sometimes things take a lot longer to work on and this is the biggest struggle for me yet!!

5. Workouts

I have taken a great liking to the gym - I love working out and I find it de-stresses me a lot. There are however some days where while working out....I get so frustrated...I actually cry.
Yes sometimes I cry during my workouts, I will be all fine running on a treadmill when I feel super out of breathe and need to stop - but the girl next to me is still going, shes slim and toned and not out of breathe at all. So I try and run a little more, but I run 10 more seconds and I need to stop quickly! This frustrates me so much that I cry, I compare myself to others so much that I forget this is all a learning experience. The same with home exercises such as sit ups, plank, press ups ect. I get incredibly upset when I do a sit up and my belly is like a mountain as I crunch, and the result is crying sit ups. I get super sad when I see how much I have let myself go and wonder what I was thinking to ever let myself get this unhealthy and overweight. But this is why I am doing this now, so I wont have to feel like this anymore.

If you are like me and have a lot of weight to lose - if someone tells you its super easy please don't get upset if you feel like it's not. I learnt that some people find it easy and others find it difficult and they experience their own problems along the way. There is always a way to get through it and push through the mentality of 'I can't do this'. YOU CAN! No matter what anyone tells you, you can do anything you set your mind to. I know that one day I will look back on this blog post and laugh to myself of how I managed to overcome every struggle I have listed.

It takes time - but this date next year you will be so glad you started. Also I am thinking of starting a YouTube channel to document my weight loss so please let me know if you would like to see that! I am planing it a soon as this blog post has uploaded!

Have a great day!

Renee x


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